22 October 1999

My mind wanders today, and will not stop in one area. It just keeps going and going. I've been told that I may have Panic Anxiety Disorder, but the mental health clinic deployed to Kosovo before anyone could evaluate me properly.

I shouldn't have drank that coffee today, but I had planned on getting some work done around the house. Instead, I ended up over at a friends house listening to her situation.

So, now I am back home, unable to read, unable to think straight, unable to even watch anything decent on TV. Not that there is ever much choice where I am. A News/Sports channel, local AFN network of SAMO SAMO, and an old movie channel, which is showing House Party 3. *sigh*

I figured maybe writing down my thoughts would set them in order. It doesn't seem to be working so far.

I'll be going back to the states in less than a month, and my husband will be going to Kosovo. I'm sure that isn't helping this situation.

I feel almost light headed. The coffee is streaming through my system making it hard for me to sit still, but I don't really feel like doing anything. I think I may be running a small temperature. The weather around here has been really strange lately. I'm prally catching a small cold or my allergies are acting up. Either way, I just feel yucky. It would be nice to take a nap, but between the coffee and my racing thoughts, I doubt I could lie there for long.

Maybe I will settle down once my husband gets home. I hope I can. It's hard telling if I will or not.

I'm worried about going to the states, and worried about my husband going to Kosovo. It is never far from my mind and I wish I could just not think about it for a while. No such luck.

Maybe I should go for a walk....