31 May 2001

Things are much much better. On Tuesday afternoon, I got called in for an interview for Wednesday morning. After talking to some friends online, I decided a nice, relaxing bath was in order. (Thanks Colin).
I decided to go all out.

I gathered incense, candles, poured some amoretto (didn't have any wine in the house), my atheme, and my Book of Shadows. Then, once everyone in the house was in bed or asleep (my son in particular), I started my first ritual in a very long time.

There was a pleasant and quiet rain, with just occasional flashes of lightening, so I stepped outside before I started and just stood there in the glorious midnight Kansas storm, enjoying the feel of raindrops on my sunburnt skin, in my hair and all over my body. In a sense, it was as if a cleansing was commencing, and the rain was welcoming a new and revitalized person. After a few moments, I was almost entirely wet, I went back to the bathroom.

I called the circle and it encompassed my entire bathroom and started filling the tub with hot water. Then I lit my candles and lit the incense. Finally, with the chalice and BOS next to the tub, I waded my way into its calming depths.

I just lay back for a while, soaking it in, and gradually accepting the temperature. When I felt relaxed, I read the Daily Rune and the Daily Prayer just to start off. Then, when I believed the Goddess was near and listening, I did a ritual of personal power, using my need to do well during the interview as its basis. It was very fulfilling and wonderful.

Finally, I just immersed myself, meditating on how any evil, negativity and doubt was being washed away by the tub water, I felt all things negative leaving my body and my mind, and slipping into the water. I lazed there for a while, occasionally dunking my head so that all bad things would be washed away. As the water started to cool, I drained the water from the tub, continually imagining the negative and evil and all things dangerous to my interview, sliding away down the drain with the water. Once the water was gone, I got up, thanking the Goddess, and poured the remaining amoretto down the drain. (*giggle * there wasn't much left… I was quite nicely warmed by that as well as the water). I thanked the Goddess once again, for all she has done for me, for her patience with me, and for all that she will do to help me.

I closed the circle, dressed in a pair of silky nighties, and went back outside where the rain was still gently falling. I was a new person. I was fresh and healthy and whole and I stood there, face up to the skies, thanking the Goddess for the moment of clarity and love. I was not the same person that had stood outside before my ritual, I was better, stronger, more confident and happier. It was a glorious night.

Eventually, I came back in and dropped happily off to sleep, feeling better about myself than I had in a very very long time. Thank you Goddess for being with me that night. And thank you for Your help allowing my interview to go well.

Blessed Be!!