10 August 2001

Today I get to play at being a bitch.. :)
Okay, maybe it wasn't ALL playing, but this dude came and disrupted one of the online groups I belong to, and he asked. (yes HE asked) if we would be happier and more comfortable if he left.

I jump in right away and say simply "yes".
Well, he replied and said that that was one "vote" for him to leave. *sigh*

So I respond yet again, saying
"Personally, I think everyone else is too close to the "situation" and no one else will be willing to "vote" you gone. However, if you were to decide to do so on your own, it would be very honorable. There are many many many groups on the net and I'm certain you could find another that would be more fitting and more accepting of a "newcomer"."

Now, I wait to see what his reply to that is. I guess maybe it isn't really all that bitchy, but it sure wasn't my typical nice self. It wasn't so much that he was disrupted, but some in our group know him from SCA and he has caused trouble, and now they think he joined to spy. I don't know the situation well enough, but I do know that things were "mostly" fine before he showed up, then when he joined (and he has lied about when he joined, saying that he joined under an assumed name) things exploded and a good friend left the list. Now, I just want things to be back to normal.. and I'm not sure that will happen anymore, but I do know that I just want him gone.

What does this have to do with Wicca? Nothing much. Many in the group are pagan, and good people. Why am I acting this way? I don't know. Maybe I just wanted to be mean. Am I doing it in a way that will harm me later? I don't think so. I hope not. I'm being mostly polite in my bitchiness and I'm not wishing him any harm, I just want him to go elsewhere.

Well, I'm not sure why I added this to my journal. Maybe I wanted to see an explanation to myself in writing. Who knows.

I applied for a loan today. I didn't strongly beg the Goddess to help me get it, but I think She knows my need and will do as is necessary for my family to survive the next month or so. If they just give us a few hundred dollars, it would help. I am scared that we won't be able to pay phone and electricity. Yuck yuck.

I visited this awesome page this evening. White Buffalo Miracle It is a fascinating site about a White Buffalo that was born in 94 and how it is fulfilling a prophecy made by some native American tribes.

Well, the dude hasn't written back as of 45 minutes, so I'm gonna sign off. Oh, and if anyone had been reading about my snake dream, I never got many responses, except one who said that dreaming about a snake meant I was horny. *sigh*

Blessed Be!