After Death... (thanks to WitchVox )
What happens to our souls/spirits after we die? Is there an everlasting haven to which we retire? Are we reprocessed and reincarnated? Do we – as dearly departed spirits/souls -- have any say in the matter? How have you coped with the loss of a loved one? Do you feel that this person/animal is still keeping an eye on you from beyond? Do you think that some of your present animal friends are really some of your old animal friends recycled? Would that work for humans as well? Are you troubled over the thought that one day you will die? Why or why not?

After we die, I strongly feel that our soul, our spirit lives on. Oftentimes, I believe we are reincarnated, but I also believe that is a choice. Life is a journey. Each time we come back, we are continuing our journey and growing ourselves and learning and teaching.

 Between reincarnations, there is the Summerlands. This is a safe-haven to rest, contemplate, meet, and just be.

 My biological father died before I was born. I have always felt and affinity towards him. Even before I knew anything about him, I had some of his interests and his traits. (One large one is my desire to drive fast… he died racing his souped up pickup truck back in 1968.) He is with me. Because of him, I drive better, (still fast, but safer) I survived the autobahn in Germany!! ;) and I loved it! I know he was with me. He was enjoying it as well. I don’t think his beliefs are in any way similar to mine. But I do believe he is with me, on some level. Perhaps he has been reborn, perhaps he has gone to the Christian heaven, but where ever he is, I have felt his presence with me.

The same for my Grandmother. She and I were always close. Her death was devastating. I am so glad she had a chance to know my son before she died. I know that she is watching over him. The year she died, my son spent a lot of time during the wee hours of the night or morning talking to someone. Just chattering away. There was no one there, that I could “see”. But I think that my grandmother was there, keeping him company, talking to him and loving him. She is with him still. When he is around, I can sometimes feel her presence as well. It is wonderful that she does this for my boy. I know that although my son will not remember her much, he was quite young when she died, he “knows” of her in other ways. I believe this strongly. And it makes me very happy.

My animal friends. Yes. I do believe they also go to the Summerlands. I also believe that they are often reincarnations of humans. Sometimes, a soul just wants to come and be with someone he or she loves, or just to take a life easy for a short break. I also strongly feel that I have made an meditative home for my old animal friends. It is amazing how many times during my meditations I feel or even see the presence of old friends. My first familiar, China, often visits. She is my oldest and dearest female kitty. I still miss her, and sometimes I meditate just to have a visit with her. Other kitties from my past often visit me there. Sometimes, they are already there when I arrive, sleeping, purring, waiting for me, etc. It really gives a whole new level to my meditative states. I escape there, sometimes at night, sometimes during the day, to think things through, to just relax, or just for a moment of diversion from everyday life. It is good to go there and “sit and pet” one of my old friends.

I have a cat right now, that is not one of my old friends, but I believe she is one of my boyfriend’s. On more than one occasion, I have found myself calling her by another name, and it has felt right. Yes. I do believe they come back. I am waiting for China to come back, but I don’t know if she will. My boyfriend’s kitty had unfinished business. That is why she is here again. ;) She is a nice addition to our family, as she was left alone, helpless, unfed, unwatered, and abandoned in this old empty house over the summer. She adopted us right away. Now, she is a part of our little family.

I feel the same way about people. I think that we are often connected from past lives. I think that my boyfriend and I were brothers in one past life and best friends in another. I think we have always been close and we continue to have that connection. Some of my female friends and I are the same. There is just something there that is deeper than a normal level of friendship. Sometimes I meet someone for the first time and I feel like I have known them forever. It is a exciting thought, and with some people we are comfortable looking at it and saying, how did we know each other in a past life because our connection is just too strong for it to be just this life alone. One of the ladies from a group of pagan-SCA sidegroup is like this for me. I saw a picture of her, and it was like, “I KNOW her!” I told her this and we think that perhaps there was a connection but since I live in Kansas and she in California, we have never had a chance to really explore our past life connection.

I am not afraid to die. I don’t want to leave my son, now, as he is quite young. Still only 3 years old, but other than that, I have led a full life. I have done more things than many people. I have traveled to Germany, London, France. I have made some wonderful friends (and some interesting enemies…) I have finally learned about true love and I do wish to continue to explore that aspect. I have made a difference in a lot of people’s lives. I was a teacher for a while and I reached a fair number of students and made a slight but important difference in their lives. I have reached friends, neighbors and just acquaintances. I feel like I have done a lot. I know I have a lot more to offer and I will probably continue until I have reached everyone that I can reach. Or perhaps now is the time for a little selfishness and to take care of me for a bit. Either way, I am not afraid to die. I don’t really want to have a long, painful, drawn out death. I suppose if anything frightens me it is that. Another thing that frightens me is the worry that my son will die before I do. I could not handle that. It would be devastating and I’m not sure how or if I would survive something like that. The parents who have lost a child and survived are the strongest people alive. I lost one child as a stillborn, Christopher Defiance. And others, I lost through miscarriage. That is hard, but to have a living child and to lose that child. That is my greatest fear. My own death, I do not fear. But then, it is the living that does the suffering, not the dead. Perhaps that is why it is easier to contemplate my own death than it is to contemplate my son’s or someone that I truly love and care about. Even knowing that I will see them again, it won’t be in their present incarnation and that aspect of our lives together will be over forever. Does that make sense?