7 April 2002

Life sucks. Life is a bitch and then you die. Life was great. I thought things were going really great. (Except for my miscarriage) but not only is life not great, it really sucks. It is spring time, life is supposed to be more springy. But then, someone did say that even though spring will be good, there is some alignment with the planets that is going to continue to make life suck. Yup. They were right.

Alright, so my goal is, I need to be strong. I need to make it through this dark time and move onward. I need to survive, and just do the best I can do. Sounds good in writing, but how tough is it to put to the test. I guess time will tell. For the first time EVER as a teacher, I don’t want to go to work tomorrow. I don’t like the feeling. Every Sunday, I am usually excited, or at least ready to face Monday’s challenges and have fun. I am ready teacher-wise to go in. I won’t mind seeing my students and teaching my classes. What I DO mind is getting my evaluation tomorrow. Which the principal and vice principal already told me is not going to be good. Not going to be good at all.

I don’t know what I have done wrong. I don’t know that I really have done anything wrong except not be the same teacher the vice-principal used to be. That I am guilty of. I guess if they hire me back for next year, I will become her. I will teach just like her and then hopefully she will not complain about me. Will not find as many faults. I don’t know what else to do.

Beautiful Goddess, protect me. Love me, and let me understand why life has gotten so difficult for me this year.

Blessed Be!