24 July 2001

Well, here I am, home alone, hubby's gone fishing.
Since he has quit his job and I've gone to work, I hardly get a moment to myself. He can't sleep at night, cuz he isn't doing anything during the day, so if I do any rituals, he is usually awake in the next room, and for some reason that makes me uncomfortable. It shouldn't, but it does.

I worked for about a month at a motel, cleaning rooms. The weather got too hot, and I was starting to get sick from the heat, so I quit. Now, I am working at Dollar General. Great place, but why do people always have to talk about other people behind their backs? I try to stick up for the girls, but sheesh. Mostly, I just stay out of it. Tomorrow is my last day there, anyway, so that I can put forth all my time and energy towards teaching.

I'm so excited about starting teaching next month. I'm scared too. I want to do so well that they will want me back teaching again next year. I did a tarot reading on myself. As always, the Goddess is there for support. She always turns up in my own readings. (I love you, Goddess) but the final outcome was scary. My final card was the Emperor reversed. "Hypocrisy. Indecision. Lack of conviction. Immaturity and irresponsibility." I hope that is just a possible outcome. Perhaps it just means I need to grow up and be responsible and then everything would be okay. But then, I've always been the one to do better against the odds. When an instructor told me that I would never be a good teacher, I proved him wrong. I taught a short mini-lesson in another classroom situation and wowed the students and the teacher. I TAUGHT them something. Isn't that the goal of every teacher? I think the problem with his class was that I was teaching stuff to other students who didn't really CARE about what I was teaching or already knew the info, so with that in mind, I couldn't properly teach, but once I got into a situation where no one knew the info but me, I COULD teach it!! : )

So, I shall go try to finish my collab for this month, especially since I didn't / couldn't last month. (I could always say that the topics didn't excite me last month, but I think I was just overworked and stressed.) Then, I need to work on more lesson plans for this fall.

Blessed Be!